Under the Lights Read online

  It’s the most natural thing in the world.

  “Don’t worry,” he soothes. “You’re safe with me.”

  The words enter into my soul, and I know they’re true. The music plays below, and the girls perform. The crew mills about, and Rosa carries costumes and makeup from one room to the next.

  Bad things happen.

  Tragic things happen.

  No one knows the things that happen to us here. We don’t know the chain of events that have started. I only wait for my introductory notes rising to meet us as he holds my hands so gently.

  “I want to touch you.” His gaze travels from my eyes to my lips to my hair to my breasts.

  “I want you to touch me,” I say.

  His voice breaks. “If I touch you, I won’t be able to stop.”

  A shiver moves through me. “I won’t want you to stop.”

  “Come.” He helps me into position on the swing, fastens the safety harness, and takes leather gloves from his pocket. “I’ll meet you on the other side.”

  “I’ll only think of you until I get there.”

  His hands cover mine on the ropes, leaning closer. I lean closer, tracing my nose against the side of his cheek, inhaling his warm, masculine scent. He groans and turns, capturing my lips, swiping his tongue inside, but quickly easing back. I chase him, pulling his lips with mine, his tongue.

  We’re careful. My makeup isn’t smeared, but it’s time. Our eyes hold each other’s as I swing out, away from the scaffolding and over the dark house. As I descend, I’m still looking up at him. A lone spotlight hits me, and just when I think I’m too far to hear his last words, they meet me.

  “You’re beautiful,” he says.

  My body glitters the bright lights, but I hold his smile, his eyes like two sapphires just visible from here. His hand is on the safety rope, and though my chest is still tight, I inhale a deep breath and sing out over the exclamations of surprise and delight from the audience.

  Mark

  Lara is a star.

  Her performance is flawless. The audience is in love with her. Tanya might be the queen of the Angels for now, but Lara’s the new spirit on the rise.

  I think of her before the finale. She blew my mind just a few minutes earlier in her dressing room. Her body was incredible. I could barely speak seeing her for the first time as the dark angel, the seductress. Her silky hair, crystal eyes… not to mention perfect breasts, long legs, delicate ankles.

  I was lucky I didn’t come in my pants. She obliterated very regret from the night before, every second guess. It’s no question I’ll do whatever it takes to stay with her.

  But when she reached the top of the ladder, she was panicking. I knew immediately it was trauma, and I couldn’t believe I didn’t anticipate it. We should have rehearsed her descent earlier in the day, helped her get over the residual fear, instead of compounding it with her debut.

  I smile to myself remembering the way she pulled it together. She held my hand and found her control. Pride tightens my stomach when I think of how strong she is. She’s sweet and strong and beautiful, and I’m doing my best to stay out of sight as I make my way to her dressing room.

  Last night, I did as I was ordered. It took me two hours to scrub the blood out of the white carpet. I sprayed the walls, everything with Clorox, then shined the black light on it to be sure nothing was left. No blood, no semen.

  Then I gathered all the sheets and everything that wasn’t glued or nailed down and carried it across the basement to the enormous fireplace in the back room. A douse of lighter fluid, a match, and the evidence quickly disappeared, taking with it my dreams of heroism. How can I be a good guy now? I was officially welcomed to the dark side by a corrupt cop.

  One thing makes my decision worth all I’ve lost, and I hope she’ll agree to sneak out with me tonight. I’m sure she will. I saw it in her eyes tonight in the rafters, high above this place. Our feelings are the same, our needs, our desires, and now we have a place to share them.

  I’m in the back rooms, breaking the rules. Only, I’m not sure the old rules apply to me anymore. I’ve moved into a new realm of lawlessness. I pass the narrow doorways, different girls inside. Some have men with them, and I know enough now to understand the transactions happening there.

  Tanya is hunched in the corner of her room, and her voice carries. She isn’t trying to hide it. “So I’m a product? A good to be bought and sold? That’s all I am now?”

  I look inside. Rosa is with her. “Don’t kid yourself, it’s all you’ve ever been.”

  “I have value. I’m a star.”

  “Why do you think they want you?”

  Rosa straps a yellow band around Tanya’s upper arm. She’s holding something silver, and light reflects off the tray. The door closes, but I know what she’s doing. I recognize that glazed, hungry look. Heroin.

  My gut twists, and I count the days in my mind. How long before it gets bad, before we find her passed out or worse.

  Fuck… I push the dark image aside. I only want to think about my bright angel at the end of this hall, the one I hope will put her hand in mine and take me to heaven tonight.

  “Tres fantastique!” I pull up short when I see a man in Lara’s doorway. “The finale, your descent…” He holds both of her hands in his, and she’s dressed in that red robe. “You were a vision coming down from heaven. Pure art.”

  I step fast into the doorway of an empty dressing room before I’m spotted.

  “I’m so glad you were pleased.” Lara holds an enormous bouquet of red roses, and while her voice is warm, her words shred my insides. “I thought of you the whole time. Did you notice my hair?”

  “It was like waves on the dark ocean.” The man smiles. “I mean yes, the barrette. I’m so happy you like my gift.”

  “I love it.” Lara smiles and leans closer.

  He lifts his hand to her jaw, and my chest is on fire. He’s dressed in a custom suit. On his wrist is a heavy, silver watch. This asshole is clearly rich. He’s exactly what she needs to get the fuck out of this place.

  I want to kill him.

  “I only have one concern.” I return to the doorway so I can hear what the fuck he might say. “You’re a vision, of course, but …”

  “Yes?”

  “Your costume is different.” He looks down, and I’m trying to figure out if this shit is serious.

  He does realize the Pussycat Angels is a burlesque show, right?

  “Does it change our arrangement?” Lara’s voice is quiet. “I know you preferred me as the pink angel.”

  “Not at all,” he says quickly. “I’m just sensitive to your feelings.”

  Shit! I stride across the room, slamming my fist into the back of a velvet chair. It muffles the sound, but it doesn’t ease the fury in my chest. If he’s so sensitive to her feelings, why doesn’t he do something? The cold realization trickles through my veins. It’s probably why he’s here.

  “Thank you,” Lara says. “It’s hard to find men who understand in my line of work.”

  The knife twists further in my guts. I have to go, leave her to this rich guy. He’s clearly what she needs, and I’m the dreamer who should care enough to let her go.

  I step to the door and watch for a chance to leave. For now, I’m trapped. If I go out, she’ll see me, and she’ll know I heard their conversation. I have to wait and suffer through this.

  “Is Gavin making you do it? Because I could speak to him if you’d like.”

  “Gavin does make the final decisions, but he’s controlled by the desires of the audience. I think he’d argue it’s part of the act, the artistry.”

  “I suppose you’re right. But if you’re uncomfortable in any way—”

  “I’ll try to manage.”

  “Excellent. Because your body is amazing…”

  His sudden change in tone pulls a feral growl from my throat.

  “What was that?” The fucker looks over his shoulder, but I don’t move.


  He’s a fraud. Lara has to know it. He doesn’t give a shit about her feelings. It’s all an act…

  I lean out in time to see him lift her hand to kiss it. Only, I’ve stepped out too far. Lara’s beautiful blue eyes flicker up and collide with mine. Lightning strikes, and her body tenses. Her shoulders rise, and she pulls her hand away.

  “I’m sorry?” The man straightens, confused by her sudden withdrawal.

  I’m not confused. My eyes hold hers; our connection is undeniable.

  “I-I just realized”—her hand flutters to her forehead—“I’m simply exhausted.”

  “Of course you are, darling. After your fall and your first night back… I hope you’ll let me visit you again tomorrow?”

  “You’ll be back?”

  My anger is fading fast. The warmth in her voice is gone. She’s flustered and off her game now that she knows I’m here. Don’t be afraid, beautiful…

  “I couldn’t stay away. I could listen to you sing until the end of my days.”

  Hopefully they won’t end sooner than he expects.

  “Freddie, you’re too kind to me.”

  He goes in for another kiss, and she lifts her hand quickly between them. I don’t laugh when I see him pull back.

  “Good night, mon amour,” he says, kissing her hand.

  My jaw tightens. I don’t like him touching her.

  Her smile is tight, and she nods, staying at the doorway as he backs away. I step into the shadows and listen to his crisp steps fading down the passage.

  He’s gone. We’re alone, and she knows I’m here.

  What will she do?

  “Mark?” she calls softly, and I open the door, emerging from the empty room.

  Her face brightens, and it’s not an act. It’s real.

  “I wasn’t trying to spy,” I say, closing the space between us. “I came to congratulate you.”

  Her cheeks flush a pretty shade. “For what?”

  “You did it. And you were so brave after what happened.”

  Her eyes are on my mouth. “I couldn’t have done it without your help. You kept me from fainting.”

  “I only distracted you. You’re the one who got on that bench. I couldn’t have made you do that.”

  “I couldn’t have done it if you hadn’t been there.” She reaches out and takes my hand. “You saved me once… I knew you’d do it again.”

  I cover her small hand with mine. “I’ll do it every time.” Then I remember the pain, the fear, the blood, and I chuckle. “Or let’s not let it happen again.”

  She smiles and steps back, going farther into her room. I glance quickly over my shoulder and follow, closing the door behind me.

  Clearing my throat, I can’t help it. My feelings are strong, primal. “Who was that guy?”

  Her eyes blink quickly away, fingers twisting together. “Freddie Lovel. He’s a friend of Roland’s… He’s—”

  “He’s rich.” I look down at my jeans, my dirty hands, and I hate acknowledging the truth. “He’s rich, and I’m… well, I’m just getting started.”

  “Roland thinks I should encourage him.” She turns her back, and my eyes travel the length of her hair, the line of her robe. She’s so beautiful. “I know he’s right, but… I have this problem.”

  “What problem?”

  She turns and her robe is open. Her body is bare beneath it, and heat rushes to my cock. I swallow the knot in my throat as she steps closer, the sides of the velvet catching on her tight nipples. She takes my hand gently in hers and guides it through the folds to her body. It’s the most erotic thing she’s ever done.

  “I only want you.”

  My fingers tighten, and both my hands are on her now. I only hesitate a moment when I see the fading mark on her waist. “Does this hurt?”

  “Nothing hurts when I’m with you.”

  I pull her to me, and she grasps my cheeks, guiding her mouth to mine. Lips collide, tongues slide and curl. She whimpers. I groan. Desire flares hot beneath my skin, and the semi I’ve had for days, every time she’s in my presence, rages to full mast, begging for her wet heat.

  “This isn’t how I’d planned it,” I say as the robe slides down her slender arms. “God, you’re so beautiful.”

  My mouth is on her shoulder, biting. Her hands thread in my hair.

  “You planned this?” she gasps as I move lower, pulling a tight nipple between my teeth, flicking it with my tongue, smoothing it with my lips. “Oh, Mark!”

  I circle the tight bud before pulling back, kissing it and making my way to the other side. “No.” I pull that one between my lips, giving it a nibble. “I only dreamed of this.”

  “Please, please.” She’s on her toes whimpering, and her eyes follow me. “Stay with me. Show me what you dream of.”

  A smile curls my lips, and I cross to the door, pushing the brass lock in place. “With pleasure.”

  10

  “Collect moments…”

  Lara

  He stands like a god, like an ancient Greek statue in the closed doorway, and he pulls the shirt over his head, leaving his caramel waves a sexy mess. The light from my yellow lamp deepens the lines in his stomach, and I shudder. His body is perfect, tall and slender but strong.

  Fire burns in his blue eyes, but it’s nothing compared to the inferno raging under my skin. My nipples are cool and tight from his kisses, my knees are weak, and the space between my thighs is slick. I’ve never been with a man, but my body knows instinctively what to do. My response to him is primal, undeniable.

  I cross the space to him, not waiting for him to come to me. He smiles and pulls me close, and I sigh at the feel of the hair on his chest tickling my sensitive nipples.

  “You feel so good,” I whisper.

  “Aren’t I supposed to say that?” Large hands move from my waist up the sides of my back, scratching my sensitive skin with his bandages. His lips touch my neck, and the light scruff on his cheek sends thrills radiating to my core.

  “I don’t know,” I whisper, every inch of me burning for his touch.

  “I’d planned to invite you to my place,” he says against my skin, and I shudder.

  “There isn’t time.” I hold his cheeks so I can find his delicious mouth.

  Our kisses are hot and wet. I kiss him slowly, tasting his sweetness, fresh water, a hint of mint. He kisses me deeper, holding the back of my neck as he guides us to my small bed.

  Gently, he lays me on my back, spreading the robe apart and running his eyes down the length of my naked body like a caress. I wriggle out of the velvet, an ache spreading in my core, a deep need I never knew existed.

  He toes off his boots, first one, then the other, his eyes never leaving me. I slide my palms over my stomach, up to my breasts, circling and holding them as his hands work at the waist of his jeans.

  “Shit, Lara,” he groans. “What are you doing to me?”

  I don’t know. I only know my body craves touch, his touch. My hands slide down to cup the need I feel between my thighs. He hisses, watching my fingers slowly circling, and when he shoves his jeans down, my breath catches.

  My eyes widen.

  He’s huge, long and thick.

  “Mark…” His name escapes on a sigh, and he fists his cock, sliding the dampness over the tip and down, causing my insides to clench.

  His voice is low, like a confession. “It’s been a while. I might go fast.”

  I have no experience to understand what he means, but instead of climbing on top of me, he drops to his knees and wraps his forearms around my thighs.

  “What are you… Oh!” My head drops back and my back arches off the bed as his tongue makes a long, slow sweep up the center of my pussy. “Oh, God, yes!”

  He stops at the top, focusing tiny licks on that little spot I circled with my fingers, the spot that makes my body shake and my eyes squeeze shut.

  “Oh!” I can’t stop the noises coming from my throat.

  My palms hit the mattress, and I grip the
sheets in my fists. His tongue is moving faster, relentless, circling and teasing. His lips close over my clit and he sucks me, making me shudder, pulling me closer when I try to wriggle away.

  “I’m coming…” I gasp. “I feel it!”

  Heat licks at my inner thighs and they quake with every brush of his scruffy cheek. He’s kissing me, licking me, and the wetness is cool on my body. Pleasure expands, ringing through my pelvis, and my forehead burns. I’m shimmering. I’ve never been so high. I’m not sure I’ll ever come down from this…

  He’s off me so fast, kissing my navel, licking his tongue over my breast, as he travels up the length to ravage my mouth. I barely even register the rip of foil, the hasty roll of the condom. His tongue meets mine and large hands move my thighs apart. His heavy length is on my stomach before he reaches down and positions the tip.

  It’s pressure, large and hot against my dripping core.

  My breath catches…

  I can’t breathe…

  He kisses me again and with a firm thrust, I’m full.

  “Mark! Oh…”

  “Yes,” he groans, sliding in on my orgasm. “Fuck yes, Lara.”

  He rips through my virginity, and I stretch around him. Rotating my hips, I try to accommodate his size. I never knew I could feel this full…

  “God, yes,” he groans, thrusting deeper, to the hilt. “You’re so tight.”

  “Oh!” I gasp, unable to hide the pain.

  His head pops up, and his brow is lowered. Still, his hips rock again. He’s completely inside me, and my knees rise with every thrust deeper. With great effort, it seems, he slows his hips. I clutch his shoulders, doing my best to hold onto him.

  “Lara…” Blue eyes hold mine. “Are you a…?”

  I don’t want this to stop. I want his weight on me pressing me down, skin against skin. I want to find that other side where the sparkling waves of pleasure wait. I feel them there, just out of reach.

  “Not anymore.” I lean up to kiss his parted lips.

  The movement rocks my body forward and my clit slides against his shaft. There it is… I do it again, rotating my hips in a dance move, doing my best to grind that spot against his body.