Dirty Dealers Page 13
I’m so confused by the change in her. I don’t know if it’s rude, but I have to ask. “Why are you being nice to me?”
“Earlier when I said you don’t know me.” All traces of anger are gone at this point. She’s speaking as if we’re friends. “Before I came here, my sister and I lived on the street. We had to steal money for food. We broke into boathouses to sleep when it rained. My sister robbed casinos…”
My brother had told me a little about this new queen, how she was a true Cinderella story. At the time, I didn’t really care.
“Basically, it would be a cruel hypocrisy if I sat here and tried to judge you. I’ve never had any disabilities. You might say I had an edge… although, you wouldn’t really know me if you did.”
I’m not sure what that means, but surging to the forefront of my mind is the problem I prayed all night about. Could this woman standing here be the answer?
“I have no right to ask this, but you see, I must.” My hands are clutched together in my lap.
She walks back to where I’m sitting. “What is it?”
For a moment, I bite the inside of my lip and press my eyes closed. I don’t matter, but this… I have to ask this favor. “My brother Cameron… He’s alone, and Blix knows how much he means to me. I’m so afraid he’ll—”
“You don’t even have to ask.” She sits beside me again and covers my clutched hands with hers. “I overheard Logan speaking to the king, my husband this morning. It’s why I wanted to come here and confront you myself.”
“I don’t understand. They let you come here to see me? Without trying to stop you?”
“Rowan knows my freedom is important to me. Anyway, I wasn’t afraid to see you. I thought it would make a difference, and I see I’m right.”
“But… what about Cam?”
“They’ve assigned two men to stay nearby. They’re watching him. Hoping Blix does make a move on him.”
Relief washes over me so strong, I’m again fighting back tears. It’s what I’d hoped for last night, and I’m so relieved and grateful. At the same time, hearing her say Blix might try to hurt my brother sends my panic levels rising again. “They won’t let him…”
“Logan seems very determined to keep your brother safe. He seems very concerned about keeping you safe.” Again her tone has changed, and she seems to be thinking, evaluating my response to her statements. “I like Logan very much. He saved my sister from Blix last summer…”
I’m doing my best to maintain a neutral expression. I’ve done enough to hurt Logan. He’s strong and perfect and still protecting me, and I can’t see how he’ll ever forgive me for betraying him—even if I couldn’t go through with it.
“Since he’s my personal guard now,” she continues, “I’ve decided it would be less stressful for him if I spend a few days here at Occitan. I’m not being completely unselfish. I love being here. It’s more relaxing than the palace. Perhaps we can get to know each other better… since we have so much in common.”
I study my hands. “I don’t have anything in common with you, your majesty.”
She stands and touches my shoulder. “You have more than you know.” She pulls the door open. “I’ll send some clothes for you to wear. The rain has finally stopped. Let’s take a walk along the beach.”
I don’t know if I’m allowed to say no, so I shrug. “Thank you.”
“I’ll send Logan to escort you down.”
Struggles
Logan
Waves crash under a grey sky. The air is cool, and both the queen and Kass are dressed in long-sleeved sweaters as they walk along the secluded beach at Occitan. I follow from a distance, keeping them in my sight.
A small outcropping of rocks protects the cove from the brunt of the ocean’s waves. The water is usually calm here, more like a lake. Not today. October is our stormiest month, and the wind whips through in occasional, violent bursts.
Ava’s dark hair curls in long spirals around her slim shoulders. She’s tall and confident, and with her sapphire-green eyes, she’s a striking beauty. It’s easy to see why the king and the people fell in love with her, why they were willing to overlook her checkered past and make her their “Cinderella queen.”
Still, my gaze is drawn to Cassandra.
For all Ava’s elegant grace, the petite drop of moonlight walking by her side has my heart and my insides tied up in knots. I watch the two of them growing closer. Kass is hesitant, but Ava acts as though she has her sister back.
It’s impossible to deny how much Zelda and Kass have in common. It’s also easy to see why I developed an attachment to Ava’s sister. It’s an easy reach.
Like Zelda, Kass is a survivor. Her bad choices have been motivated by the curveballs life has thrown at her, and her determination to survive. She’s mixed up with criminal subculture and dangerous men, but purity shines out of her eyes. Her heart is not black and hard, and I understand now she had to keep going or risk losing the only family she has left.
Intellectually, I understand her reasons. At the same time, she made me a target. She used our love as a weapon against me. The night we met at the casino, I fucking believed the universe had brought us together again, and it was all a lie. Every time I touched her, kissed her, loved her… Every time I wondered at the amazing twist of fate that I had her in my arms…
Shit. I’m getting fucking pissed all over again.
Fuck the past. I don’t believe in types. I don’t believe in soul mates. We have moments in our lives that are golden. Perhaps we try to recapture those moments with different humans who remind us of the ones we shared those times with. Or we stop being pussies and move forward, make new memories with new people.
I have to put all that shit behind me and Do My Job.
With a crash salt water breaks over my feet, and I swear, walking further up the dunes. I’ve taken my eyes off the queen. She squeals, and adrenaline spikes in my veins. I race forward.
“Your majesty,” I say, looking around, my hand moving to my gun holster.
“Logan!” Ava laughs, falling on my arm. She’s laughing so hard, her green eyes dance. “I’m sorry! I stepped on a crab. It’s so overcast, they’re all out scavenging.”
Kass moves away, dropping her hand and walking ahead of us. Beneath the black sweater, she’s wearing a beige dress Ava must have loaned her. It has a long, flowing skirt that whips around her sexy legs. The wind blows hard, and I can see the shape of her breasts beneath the thin material of the top. Her pale hair flies around her in the breeze, and my fingers curl. I want to thread them in her hair. I want to slide them down her body and love her.
Fuck that. I shake away my residual desire when I notice the queen’s eyes are fixed on me. Clearing my throat, I pass a hand over my mouth. “The king asked us to be extra vigilant.”
She smiles and narrows her eyes. “Is Rowan the only reason you’re staying so close?”
She’s onto me, but I’m not playing into any romantic notions. “My job is to keep you safe. As long as the threat level is high, I’m afraid I have to stay with you. I’ll try not to make you uncomfortable.”
“You never make me uncomfortable.” Her hand is still on my forearm, and she starts to walk. I stay with her, and we follow in Kass’s footsteps on the sand.
Looking up, I watch Kass go toward the breakers then step out of them when they rush in deep around her ankles. The hem of her dress is wet, but it still moves up and around in the breeze.
“I like her,” Ava says, her voice thoughtful.
“We’re treating her like a suspect until we’re sure she’s no longer a threat. It would be careless to do otherwise.”
Ava exhales a short laugh. “She’s not a threat. She tried to kill Blix herself.”
“So she says.” I can’t shake how easily she lied to me before—and how easily I believed her.
“I believe her,” Ava argues. “I’d like to stay here while we have her in custody. She makes me feel less… lonely.”
&nb
sp; “Are you lonely?” I hadn’t considered the possibility, but it makes sense. She’s an outsider here, and her sister is far away.
She doesn’t answer immediately. Her hand leaves my arm and she walks toward the line of water racing in and out with the wind.
“I have Rowan, and you or Freddie is always nearby.” Her nose wrinkles with her smile. “Sometimes it’s nice to have another woman to talk to.”
I shrug. “I see no reason why we can’t stay here. It’s a secure location, and it’s not hard to get to the palace quickly if needed.”
Her eyes move over my shoulder, and her expression changes. Pink touches her cheeks and she smiles. “It’s Rowan,” she says, passing me and jogging up the beach toward the house.
I watch her go, and wait until she’s folded in the king’s arms before I turn back to see Kass still playing at the edge of the water. She drops to a squat right where flat, wet sand meets the softer, drier part. Her fingers lightly touch the dunes, and she rocks back to sit. She’s a safe enough distance that she won’t get wet, and I continue walking to where she sits. We can’t leave her out here, and I’m confident Ava is safe with her husband.
Walking toward her, I watch as she bends her knees and places her cheek on top of them. Her eyes close against the wind, and she’s so different than she was only twenty-four hours ago. It was clear she was happy with me those few days, even if it was a lie. Her choice, I think, steeling myself as I get closer.
“Rowan’s here,” I say, and she does a little jump, lifting her head. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“The king is here?” Her legs drop and she starts to stand. “Does he want to… hurt me?”
“Ava likes you, so there’s little chance anything bad will happen to you.”
She’s standing beside me, and the wind swirls jasmine all around us. Her hair flies forward, and she catches it, pushing it back, but not before it touches my cheek. Every little touch, every scent is another twist of the knife still buried in my stomach.
“She’s too nice to me. I don’t deserve it.”
I can’t argue with her there. “You remind her of her sister.”
“Zelda,” she nods. “You helped rescue her from Blix.”
“It was a scary time. A lot of bad things happened to her while we searched.”
Kass’s slim brows pull together, and she almost seems like she’ll cry. “I hate to be the cause of her pain. I hate that I’m a part of this. I thought I could get free of him, but I never will.”
“You could have talked to me about it. I would have helped you.”
“Now it’s too late.” A frown tugs at the side of her mouth, and she starts to move past me, turning her face to the ocean to hide her sadness.
My hands are on my hips, and I hold myself back, grinding my jaw against the pull of wanting to hold her. Her choice, my brain demands.
I see the driftwood partially buried in the sand in front of her, but I realize a second too late she can’t see it. Her ankle turns, and she starts to fall. One swift move, and I scoop her up, into my arms.
“Oh!” she cries, gripping my biceps.
Her soft body is pressed against me, and her face is right at my chin. Her breath comes in quick pants, causing her breasts to rise and fall just beneath the thin material of her dress. With her sweater pushed back, I can see she’s not wearing a bra, and all the lust I’ve been fighting shoots straight to my cock.
I know she feels it. Her lids lower, and her eyes are trained on my mouth. Her lips part, and I can just see the tips of her white teeth when she speaks, low and breathless. “Thank you.”
Desire overrules my brain, and I don’t stop myself. I pull her to me, covering her mouth with mine. It’s not a gentle kiss. It’s rough and punishing. It’s all the anger and the hurt and the worry she’s put me through these last days.
She meets me with equal strength. Her mouth moves with mine, and she tastes like mint and cool water. A little noise aches from her throat and fuck me, my dick gets harder. She’s soft in my arms, and my stomach fills with warmth, desire, possession.
How can I still want her so badly? She used me.
Breaking our lips apart, I look up at the sky. It’s thick with grey, swirling clouds. It mirrors the storm in my chest.
Kass’s forehead drops to my neck. She’s panting, and I feel her beaded nipples against my chest. I want to pull them into my mouth and suck them until she moans. I want to lower my pants and lift her skirt. I want to shove her panties aside and fuck her right here on this beach. I want it to be hard and angry. I want her begging me to forgive her, begging me for more.
I can see the whole thing, and it takes all my willpower to step back.
“I’m sorry.” I hold her arms until I’m sure she has her balance, until I’m back in control. “I’ll escort you to the house.”
“Yes.” Her voice is breathless.
Every touch is electric. Our chemistry is impossible to deny, but I can’t be with her if she’s not going to tell me the truth. I can’t let her tie me up in knots yet never let me inside her walls. It kills me because I want to take care of her. I want to protect her—it’s what I do—but I can’t force her to let me.
Once she’s clear, we walk side by side the way we came. I keep an eye out for debris or other hazards she can’t see, but I don’t touch her. We don’t speak. I’m still recovering from the intensity of our connection. The way she crosses her arms over her stomach, I assume she’s sorting out her feelings as well.
Another gust of wind sweeps around us, and my skin is sticky with brine. I taste the salt on my tongue.
“It’s going to rain again,” I say, looking out at the churning black waters.
She doesn’t respond. Instead her smooth brow wrinkles. “Ava said you’re watching Cameron.”
“I sent a team of guys in plain clothes to his apartment last night. They’re watching him.”
She nods, pulling her full bottom lip into her mouth a moment. When it slips out, it’s glossy, and I look away to block the images of me kissing her again.
“I can’t tell you how much it means to me,” she says, drawing me back. “I was so worried about him last night. He is the only thing…” She shakes her head and looks down. “He’s been the only thing keeping me going for so long.”
“You make it sound like something changed.”
Her bare feet make soft squeaking noises in the damp sand, and a ghostly white crab scurries away from our path. It’s as pale and ethereal as this beautiful girl at my side. This woman who holds my heart in her hand.
“When I came back…” Again, she’s choosing her words. I want to stop her and make her tell me what she’s holding inside. “I’ve been thinking about everything that went before.” She looks ahead of us, far in the distance. “I wish…”
The squeak of footfalls in the sand, the sound of breakers crashing on the shore. She doesn’t finish her wish, and we’re back at the boardwalk leading up to the enormous estate. I see Ava with Rowan on the back porch. His hands are on her waist and her hands are on his chest. He says something and she laughs, rising on her toes to kiss his cheek. On her way down, he catches her, covering her mouth with his.
It’s everything I want with Cassandra. Following her to the house, I watch the movement of her hair down her back, the graceful sway of her hips, her small feet, and I make a decision. I won’t give her up without a fight. Maybe our reunion was staged as a way to break me, but maybe I can take what Blix intended for evil and turn it into what I’ve always wanted.
Dirty Hands
Kass
It’s raining again. Time passes, and Blix is still in hiding. We remain at Occitan in a holding pattern, waiting. I’m not included in any of the discussions of what they’re planning or how they’re searching for him. It stings a little, but at the same time, I don’t want to know. If Blix does try to contact me or worse, somehow kidnap me, the less I know, the better.
Ava and I are
on oversized loungers on the back porch. They’re covered in thick cushions, and she’s holding a deck of cards she shuffles over and over. I wonder if she wishes I could play. I suppose I could if I held them close to my face, only I wouldn’t be able to see what’s on the table.
Letting it go, I lean my head back against the thick cushion and listen to the rain fall. We’re far enough away that it’s ambient back noise combined with the crashing surf, and I’m wrapped in a soft, cashmere sweater she gave me.
The muffled slap of shuffling cards fills the air. “When it rained, Zelda and I would search for unlocked boat houses to hide from the storm.”
I turn my head in her direction. “You would stay in them all day?”
“Oh, no.” More shuffling. “During the day we wandered around, doing our best to stay inside malls or drugstores. Places we could hang around unnoticed.”
“It’s strange to think of you that way.” I try to picture this elegant lady as a street urchin.
“You remind me of her.” She’s smiling.
“Your sister? How?”
Another shuffle of cards. “You’re brave. You’re a fighter. But your vulnerability makes you accessible.”
“You mean my blindness.” A frown pulls at the side of my mouth. “I’m not helpless because I’m blind.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She rotates in her chair so it’s facing me.
I’m quiet a moment, thinking about what she said, where we are, and what’s happening. “You’re too kind to me. I should be locked in a dungeon for what I’ve done.”
She’s dealing the cards, laying them out on the table between us. “Logan is one of my husband’s most trusted guards. He vouched for you.”
That revelation hits my chest like a fist. “Why would he do that? I betrayed him.”
“Probably because he’s in love with you.” She says it so casually, as if the suggestion doesn’t crush me and make me hope and make me despair all at once.
The noise of rain surrounds us. The waves batter the shore. Cards flick against the table—one, two, three. She’s playing Solitaire. I can tell by the way she repeatedly deals herself three cards then puts them away.