Under the Lights Page 14

  His sudden change in demeanor tells me more than his words ever could. “Molly met him after the show a while back, and—”

  “Keep her away from him.”

  “Who is he?”

  “Gavin’s brother.”

  I shake my head. “But why have I never seen him? How could I not know Gavin had a brother?”

  “He went away a while back. I don’t know why he’s here now, but it’s the reason I told you to be careful. Stay away from him. Keep Molly away from him.”

  “If he’s Gavin’s brother, that means—” I try to piece together this new information, understand how it relates to the show, to us.

  Roland grips my arm so hard I wince. “Do what I say,” he growls.

  I bend my elbow and push his hand away. “Don’t treat me like that. Tell me why.”

  He exhales and releases me, but the anger is still there. I watch him circle the piano and start to play what he’s just written. “I’m not going to repeat stories about Gavin’s brother.”

  “Okay…” Time to push. “We had a visitor last night.”

  His hands pause over the keys, and his eyes cut to mine. “Guy?”

  I nod. “It doesn’t seem to matter what we do. The theater isn’t that big.”

  “What did he say?”

  “That he knew me, that he’s been watching me. That he’ll be back and Molly and I should get some sleep in the meantime.” I circle the instrument to sit beside him, lowering my voice. “What do I do?”

  His lips press together. Five measures pass before he speaks, voice calm. “I’ll talk to Gavin. Don’t worry about it.”

  “Don’t worry about it? After all you’ve said?” My voice is a panicked whisper as my grip tightens. “I’ve seen the look in his eyes before.”

  He hammers the final three chords and drops his hands to the bench, looking up at me. “Maybe it’s time for Molly to go.”

  Acid rises in my throat, and my fists clench. I’ve never been so angry with Roland before. “That’s all I get? Half-stories and impossible ideas?”

  “Calm down.” He reaches for my hand, but I jerk it back and stand. He stands with me. “I said calm down.”

  “You’ve got a lot of nerve,” I hiss, my chest so tight it hurts to breathe. “I can’t send her away. I have nowhere to send her.”

  He studies me then sits, playing a song I’ve never heard before. I watch him stringing together notes into a flowing melody like my world isn’t crumbling all around me.

  “How do you like this?” he asks.

  “It sounds like breaking dishes.” I spin on my heel to leave.

  He stops playing and catches my arm. “I said for you not to worry about it. I’ll handle this situation with Guy. Just trust me.”

  “I can’t do that anymore.”

  I walk away from my old protector and out of the theater. I don’t know where Mark is, and I can’t wait any longer for a solution.

  It’s time to take matters into my own hands and do what I can to save us.

  “Here we are,” Freddie says, holding a heavy, dark-wood door for me. It’s accented with a clear glass panel and a gleaming brass H in the center.

  Inside is an open, gas-lit space with white plaster walls and dark-wood molding and wainscoting. The floors are tiny white tiles arranged in a circular mosaic pattern with green accents in the center, and the entire place holds about forty small, dark-wood tables. It’s classic New Orleans.

  A handful of diners are scattered around, and each sit before colorful foods on white place settings atop white linens. A dark-wood bar is situated in the far-right corner with six stools tucked beneath a glossy ledge.

  The wall behind it is lined in mirrors and glass shelves that hold bottles of various shapes and colors above clear glassware. A stout man in white shirtsleeves stands beside a bright brass tap station in the center, chatting with a man in a black suit.

  The man holds a cigar from which a thin line of smoke curls to the ceiling, and a crystal snifter filled with amber liquid is beside his hand. The low murmur of polite conversation fills the air, and it’s all so refined and beautiful. It’s completely foreign to me.

  We don’t wait long at the entrance before another stout fellow with a crisp, white apron tied over a black vest greets us. He recognizes Freddie at once.

  “Monsieur Lovel,” he says with a bow. “Right this way, sir.”

  We’re led to a small table for two, and when we stop, the host holds my chair for me. Every muscle in my body is tense, but Roland taught me the trick of passing in society—follow one quick step behind everyone and mimic their behavior.

  I sit and then jump back as our host places a large, white-linen napkin across my lap. Then he looks at me as if expecting me to say something. I’ve never been waited on, so I simply smile. A waiter steps up and hands a large cream-colored sheet to Freddie, who peruses it briefly.

  “Today’s menu looks good,” he says. “And bring us whatever your sommelier recommends with each course.”

  The waiter bows his head, and Freddie looks to me for approval. As if.

  I simply smile again.

  “Is that acceptable, darling?”

  “Of course.” I have no idea what I just agreed to eat, but my stomach is in knots anyway.

  Within moments a plate of little brown shells arrives. I’ve heard of escargot, but I wait until Freddie picks up the tiny fork to remove a pinch of dark meat from inside. He makes a satisfied noise, and with careful hands, I follow suit. I’m not sure what to expect, but the moment the rich, buttery morsel hits my tongue, I have to resist the urge to groan loudly with delight. No matter what it once was, this is fresh, buttery, and perfectly seasoned—a welcome change from my usual day-old hard bagels.

  “Food & Wine named this as the premiere bistro in the city,” Freddie replaces his small utensil on the white linen. “They are trying to make New Orleans the Paris of the South.”

  I nod as if I know what the heck he’s talking about. Freddie doesn’t question my assent as the small plates are removed and replaced with new ones containing a dark green and purple salad.

  I watch him pick up the smaller fork and prepare to do the same when he stops moving, sighs, and looks directly at me.

  I freeze.

  Has he figured out my trick?

  “You are so beautiful in this light.” He smiles, and I start to breathe again.

  “Freddie.” I shake my head.

  “I’ve dreamed of being closer to you, and now it’s happening.” He still holds his fork aloft, gazing at me instead of eating. I try not to appear impatient. My stomach is near growling.

  “You have such talent. It must be difficult to only have one part in the show.”

  I can’t tell him it’s the furthest thing from my mind. “I try not to let it get me down.”

  “I love it. Grace in the face of life’s challenges. It’s great marketing,” he says, at last stabbing the bitter green salad he ordered for us both.

  I smile demurely and follow suit, hoping to get us off the topic of my occupation and onto his. “Do you go back to Paris often?”

  “Not as often as I’d like. My father likes me to stay here and look after our interests.”

  “Of which you have many?” I smile, hoping I’m not being rude. “I mean, to keep you here so long.”

  “Hmm.” Freddie continues eating, clearly bored with the subject. “Our shipping business is strong and well-established. There’s really no need to fuss about it. I’m looking for something new…”

  His eyes land on mine as the salad plates are removed. I think about Roland’s reasons for pushing me toward Freddie as the servers place a gorgeous arrangement of roast beef with dark gravy and something smooth and white with a little sprig of green in front of us. The luscious scent makes my mouth water, and again I fight back a squeal of delight. I can’t remember the last time I had red meat.

  “Well, this looks acceptable.” Freddie picks up his silver knife and f
ork and slices into it. I do the same, but he’s talking again. I don’t want to stuff my face while he’s staring at me. Still, I manage to get a piece of roast in my mouth, and I almost swoon at the flavor.

  Freddie doesn’t seem to notice. “We were doing fine with the usual New Orleans souvenirs, spices and such. Then we added coffee and it simply exploded.”

  He slices another piece of roast as I study the fluffy white side dish.

  “The potatoes are amazing, aren’t they?” he says, with a twinkle in his eye. My eyebrows rise. Potatoes? I would never have guessed…

  “How they get them so smooth is a closely guarded secret,” he adds as if reading my mind.

  “You enjoy fine dining.”

  “It’s true. I have Epicurean tastes.”

  Freddie leans back in his seat, placing the white cloth napkin beside his plate. I do the same, although I’m miserable at all the meat left on my plate. I wonder if he’d notice if I slid it into my handbag…

  “Do you feel up for a stroll?”

  “Of course!”

  He stands and takes several bills from his pocket. He places them on the table as he takes my arm, and I feel pretty confident new shoes would not be an issue for Freddie Lovel.

  Back on the street, my hand is in the crook of his arm as we walk, surveying the galleries and storefronts along Royal. It’s warm in the sun, but with the humidity low, it’s bearable. All of the blooms are gone, but dark-green ivy climbs healthy and bright up the sides of buildings and over the wrought iron trim.

  A fountain trickles softly in a passing courtyard. It reminds me of my first adventure with Mark to the secret poboy shop, and my stomach cramps. It’s only been a day, and I miss him so much. I hate all of this. Where is he?

  We pass a shop with a large painting of the Seine in the window, and Freddie stops.

  “How I long to be home again,” he says.

  “Back in Paris?”

  “The cuisine here is… well, it’s quite good.” He covers my hand with his, glancing up at the sky. “It’s just so miserably hot all the time.”

  I smooth my hair off my face. “I’m in the theater most days. I guess I’m use to it.”

  He nods and looks ahead. “The truth is if it weren’t for you, I’d most likely melt into a puddle of ennui.”

  I have no idea what that means, and it never occurred to me that Freddie would be so anxious to go home. “I’d love to see Paris.”

  “Oh, darling, you would love it.” Freddie’s eyes take on an expression I usually see after my performances. “It’s so beautiful with the flowers and the cafés along the Rive Gauche. Our home is in the seventh arrondissement, which is the best place to live.”

  “It sounds amazing.”

  “Would you ever consider going?” His eyebrows rise.

  I bite my lip and we resume our stroll. “I’ve never been outside New Orleans, but I’ve always wanted to travel. With the right person.”

  Freddie’s chest rises. “There are places I could show you that would take your breath away. From Montmartre you can see the entire city spread out below, with its tiny streets. And the shopping on the Champs-Élysées is incomparable.”

  “I don’t know where I’d stay, and I have my little… sister Molly to consider.”

  “My sister has a large townhouse. I’m sure she would love to have a celebrity guest.”

  “I’m not a celebrity.”

  He smiles and pats my hand. “You might not be one yet, but you have the potential.”

  My brow furrows and I look up at him. “I’m basically one step above a stripper. Wouldn’t she find that… problematic?”

  “Of course not. Last year’s number one song was recorded by a former stripper. One could even argue that Playboy spread made Marilyn Monroe a star.”

  For a moment my old promise to Molly about what our future might look like feels so close. The limos and the little dog.

  “It sounds like a beautiful dream.” We walk a moment in silence before I speak again. “Will you return to Paris soon?”

  Freddie stops walking and looks deep into my eyes. “Would you care?”

  I choose my words carefully. “I’ve looked forward to your visits. I imagine I would miss them… more than I can know now, standing here, holding your arm. But what could you possibly get out of it?”

  I really want to know.

  His eyes are warm and he covers my hand with his. “Paris is a much smaller market than America. I’d be honored to be the man who shared your talent with the world. And maybe, one day, you might think of me as more than a friend?”

  We’re back at the theater, and I think about his words. “I imagine anything is possible.”

  15

  “The universe loves a stubborn heart.”

  Mark

  I missed the finale.

  After dropping that asshole off at a small apartment building on Piedmont, I turned the car around and headed straight back south. But after driving all night, I only made it to Union City before I had to pull into a cheap motel and crash for a few hours. I set my alarm for plenty of time, but a fucking traffic jam in Mississippi cost me two more hours.

  I’m tired and aching and worried about Lara when I finally pull into the dark parking lot. Keys in hand, I dash up the back steps headed straight for the dressing rooms, not worrying about who sees me.

  I’m pulled up short when I see fucking Freddie again at her door, again with a fucking toddler-sized bunch of red roses, leaning in as if he’s ready to kiss my girl. The drop-kick to the chest comes when I hear his words.

  “May I kiss you?” He leans closer.

  I have to smother the No! rising in my throat when Lara’s eyes meet mine briefly. They narrow and she closes them as she lifts her chin.

  He kisses her.

  He fucking… I have to turn into the empty dressing room and go to the opposite wall, planting my fists against the wood paneling.

  I’m tired. I’m exhausted from the drive, and I don’t know what the fuck is happening right now. My throat is tight, and it takes all my waning willpower not to charge out there, grab that guy by the neck and throw him out the back door.

  The noise of heels clicking up the hall tells me he’s gone.

  I only see red.

  Stepping out of the dark dressing room, Lara stands in her doorway looking directly at me. She’s wearing that robe, and her expression is unapologetic.

  It takes less than ten steps for me to be directly in front of her. “When did he start kissing you?”

  “I don’t know.” She shakes her head as if trying to remember. It makes me even more furious. “A few days ago? I thought you knew—”

  “I didn’t,” I snap. “I don’t want him kissing you.”

  “I’m sorry,” she snaps back, and my stomach clenches painfully. “You don’t get to make orders like that.”

  My jaw tightens, and I turn to walk away. Then I turn back. “What we had… it meant something to me. It means something.”

  Her eyes move away from mine. “It meant something to me… But my situation has changed. I can’t see you anymore.”

  Three steps and I’m with her again. “What changed?” My hands grip her arms, and I pull her closer. I put my lips in her hair and kiss her temple.

  “Stop,” she whimpers, but her hands tighten on my arms, holding me. “I can’t—”

  Releasing her at once, I step back. “That hasn’t changed.”

  Her voice trembles, and tears glisten in her eyes. She fights them. “Where were you last night? Tonight?”

  “Gavin sent me away. I had to drive to Atlanta.”

  “I needed you…” A lone tear falls, but she shoves it away fast, clearing her throat. “I realized I had to take matters into my own hands.”

  As much as I want to comfort her, I can’t. I’m hurt and betrayed. Turning away, I face the wall, but my bleeding insides force me to ask. “Didn’t any of it matter to you? That night, the things we said?”


  She doesn’t answer right away, and when she does, her voice has changed. It’s formal, stoic. “What we had is a beautiful memory, but I have to think of Molly and me. Our safety.”

  My voice rises. “I said I’d take care of you. I just need time.”

  “How much time?” she shouts back. “You’ve been saying that for weeks, but still you can barely support yourself!”

  A sick misery fills the air around us. She’s blinking fast, and we’re both breathing hard.

  “So you prostitute yourself to a man you don’t love?”

  “Bastard,” she whispers, her voice trembling. “You have no idea what I’m up against.”

  My anger won’t let me take it back. I’m furious and hurting, and I only want her in my arms. “I know more than you think.”

  “Then you know I have no choice. I have to do whatever it takes to get us out of this place.”

  We only glare at each other a few seconds longer. Hurt radiates from both of us, but I turn away. I stalk up the hall, pushing through the door before we say another word we can’t take back.

  The metal door slams against the cinder-block wall as I blast through it. I’m still wearing my clothes from yesterday. Light-blue dress shirt and slacks, but the blazer is slung over a chair. I dig in the pocket for Gavin’s keys, ready to give them back and head to the jazz club near Marigny for a car bomb. Or three.

  “Hey, Fitz.” Eddie, one of the old crew members who never left, stops me. “I get it now.”

  “What?” I growl.

  “Why you kept that job up high.”

  He nods toward the rafters, and my eyes follow. “What are you talking about?”

  “Larissa!” He slaps my shoulder. “Those tits are gorgeous from the stage, but fuck me, up close… I almost—”

  Pain flashes through my fist as it slams into his stupid face. I’ve got him by the throat against the wall, and I’m pounding him with all the fury blazing in my chest.

  “Fitz!” His hands are up and he tries to defend himself, but I don’t stop.

  Another voice shouts louder. “Fitz, stop!”

  Two sets of arms grab me from both sides, dragging me off the man. Eddie drops to one knee clutching the blood gushing from his broken nose, his split lips. My hand is throbbing and starting to swell.